SO, HOW WAS JUNE!!!

So, how was June? 

Well, recovery is moving in the right direction, albeit so very very slowly. Im fully out of the boot now for a good while. Im also only using my crutch when Im due to walk any distance, or if my feet are hurting particularly. 

I have to admit that Ive sunk into a bit of a depression in the past few weeks. While its all well and good 'knowing' that this is a long slow recovery process, the reality of it is a lot different, and quite a bit harder to deal with. 

I find it hard to be motivated to do my physio, but I do do it (not as much as I should, but Im working at it). 

One of the things that has gotten me into a bit of a spin is the invitation to a wedding in a months time. I know that my foot/feet will not cope with any sort of pressure - but I can wear trainers with a nice dress up outfit either. Im not sure what Im going to do..... Ive been contemplating wearing trousers and a top so I can get away with supportive shoes. I find this side of it all quite depressing. My wardrobe choices are based on track suit bottoms, leggings with a long top, and the odd pair of jeans. All to suit my footwear!!! 

But thats cosmetic..... Im getting there. The scars are nearly invisible. I really did look after them well, massaging them, etc. I still have to wear a soft sock at night as the top of the foot is still sensitive when it gets touched, but again, Im massaging that as often as possible. It may be lasting nerve damage, but hopefully not. I get quite a bit of pain when Im on my feet for any length of time, especially across the top of the foot (more so than the tendon area), but again, I am hoping that with time and physio this will fade away. 

I was worrying that I had damaged my tendon again... when you look at my feet, the right foot still has a "flat" look to it. But I went to see a physiotherapist recently, and she assured me that it was fine looking and that I was doing really well for the stage Im at, which was very reassuring. 

So, thats the latest on the journey of the frankenfoot! I still dont regret having had it done. I can actually feel I have an arch when I walk barefooted which is amazing, and such a treat! 

TIME MOVES SO SLOWLY

So, week 14 -
I was amazed when I went back and counted the weeks, because I felt I was much further ahead than 14 weeks!!
Where am I at. Not too far along, but Im determined to mark every little positive and note every little change even if they are small.
I feel its the only way to get through this.... believe you me, this is by far the most frustrating part of the recovery - and why? Because it requires a great deal of patience - I mean - ABSOLUTE patience.
This week, I have been a lot better at managing my pain, mostly because I heeded the physios warning - that I COULD do damage to the tendon again if I dont give it the time it requires. That scared me. I really do not want to undo all the magical work that was done during surgery - how stupid would that be?? But its so very hard. Everyone sees you are up and about, walking perhaps with one crutch - oh, she must be better - then I turn around and say, I have to rest - I have awful pain - and I know there is a look in their eye - not quite believing...

So - the positives?? Here they are -
At the 14 week mark, I notice -

• My foot is not as swollen at the end of the day
• The scars are really fading - due to me rigidly massaging all the time
• I can go longer on my feet
• I am starting to walk with less of a limp when I dont have the crutches
• I have great movement in my foot - again, due to doing my physio exercises
• I can go up and down the stairs, one foot at a time, instead of going up and down with my "good" foot leading. 
• Yesterday, I went to 2 supermarkets, and didnt end up in agony - thats my tester! 

I have been given the go ahead to start swimming again - Im going today - and I cant wait. Just to have a bit of floatation for this poor aching body. Im going to start slowly, and not have large expectations. I also have purchased a second hand exercise bike, which again, I will be building up my time on it. Keeping the joints moving. I have a lot of pain in my hips for some reason, so hoping the swimming will help with that. 

I am a very positive person - I like to focus on the positives. I cant pretend that it gets really hard sometimes, but on the whole, its getting there. 

Positives Moving Forward

In the year I was waiting for my surgery, I did a lot of research. Im one of these people that likes to learn what is going on before I have it. I discovered Healthboards, where they have a "foot and ankle problem" forum. I post from time to time, and I have posted the following today - an update of sorts!

The Positives

---

Hi. I know that there are some people reading this that havent had surgery yet. I know I read lots in the year before my op.
Im now just over 11 weeks post op. I had a real sense of realisation the past few days.
I suppose the first is, that although I KNEW, it really hit me just how long the recovery is. And I did/do know it is anything up to 8 months - with the year marker really showing that its all worth it.
Saying all that, my friend collected me the other day to go for breakfast. We went to town. I had my boot on, with crutches. Now, I had to go to a few different shops - first time in town really - and some were at one end and others were at the other end - it struck me at the last shop, when I knew I had had enough, that the last time I had been in that particular shop was about 4 weeks ago - and I had only walked about 4 mins to it, and back again, and it had really exhausted me. I stood in that shop and realised how far I have actually come in those 4 weeks. Its very hard to see that, as its so so so slow, but it was a real lightbulb moment for me, and gave me a great boost.
Next, I cooked for my folks. I LOVE cooking, and although it was great that my partner was able to take over the cooking, I had missed it. I use kitchen chairs - to kneel on, so Im not standing. It did take a lot out of me, but again, the sense of achievement helped with the psychological side.
And, finally, today I took a shower standing up for the first time. I managed it just - ten mins - and then my foot started to ache. BUT again, its a move forward.
What I am trying to say is, that its important to log all these little pluses as well as the tough times - because there are plenty of those. Due to the fact that over the past few days I had really overdone it I did suffer, so made the decision to have a full rest day yesterday - apart from going down to get coffee and food!
Im now able to hobble to the bathroom barefoot on one crutch in the night. Im doing my physio, giving my foot a really good massage morning and night, and resting as well.
Oh, and one other thing, Im driving very short distances. Im finding that absolutely fine. My foot has enough good movement in it that its able. Oh the freedom.

So, again, I say, I do not regret having the surgery one little bit - Im 100% happy I had it done, and cannot wait to have the other one done now.

Week 10

So, week ten, moving into week 11.
Physically I'm doing as well as expected. Moving forward. I saw my surgeon last Monday, and he is happy with progression. I now have to start the next phase - learning how to walk again. This involves a very long slow process.
Let me explain - because the operation involves not only bones, but tendons, there is a very lengthy recovery. I was at physiotherapy on Thursday and she explained it to me quite well - tendons need to be tricked into change. They don't like change - they fight against it - with high pain. When you have had surgery to correct tendon damage, firstly, tendons have limited blood supply - which means they take a lot longer to heal. Secondly, when the foot has been altered - as in reconstructive surgery, all the muscles and tendons will have been changed into different positions. All this culminates into the fact that after surgery for PTTD, it takes anywhere up to a year before the foot is comfortable with what has gone on.
Thankfully, I knew all this, BUT, saying that, knowing is very different to living it. It is extremely frustrating.... I still cannot drive. I get pain after just 10/15 mins walking around the house in "normal" footwear. The rest of my body suffers - back ache, hips, muscles spasming in my legs, and general exhaustion after doing anything that consists of normal day to day living. Even going out to do the weekly supermarket shop with help has me huffing and puffing with tiredness.
It cannot be easy on those around me. Of course, most peoples experience of surgeries/broken bones, etc are that the person is generally up and about after 6-8 weeks. The fact that this surgery is so major, does escape most peoples knowledge of recovery... it is definitely not a surgery that is undertaken easily. Its funny, but all the post op stuff was so much easier to handle than this stage. I want to be driving again, I want to be able to do things that don't end up in me having to take near bed rest for the following few days - an example of this was last Thursday. I had bought a replacement bedside locker - my old one was falling apart. I decided that this was something I could do sitting on the side of the bed - so I set about swapping over drawer contents. This led to me tidying up around that locker, and then, I decided that my chest of drawers needed sorting. I cannot describe to you how good this felt for me to be able to do - mentally - physically, my foot/feet were screaming by the time I went and got into the shower. That was the afternoon I went for my first physio, and she couldn't actually do much with me as I was in so much pain. Yes, I had overdone it. Just that hour or so of decluttering and tidying left me in a lot of pain for the next few days.
The swelling is also frustrating. It might not look like my foot is swollen, but when I go to put it into a shoe - ouchy. And as the top of my foot is quite nervy and sensitive, it is unpleasant. That is the only other thing - I have to wear a sock at all times as the nerves are not a nice sensation. Its not sore - by any means - its just, not nice.

BUT, saying all that, I am definitely noticing small improvements each and every day. I can now get around with one crutch if I really need to - and if I am in my boot, I can go crutch free to a certain extent. My range of movement (ROM) has vastly improved, and I'm doing my exercises diligently... with lots of massage with Skin Therapy Oil (I love the Palmers Cocoa Butter Formula one - don't like Bio-oil). I can take Brufen again (Its a no no for a lot of orthopedic surgeons post surgery) and it does help with my other foot. I have started an online course, to keep me occupied.
So, my goal for the next fortnight is to get driving again. My surgeon told me that I can drive when I feel confident that I can put my foot down hard. As I drive an automatic this should be soon enough. Maybe a small drive to a shop will be my first test.

So, there you go. Nearly week 11 already. I have to say, this time has absolutely flown by even though it drags. Nearly 3 months.... Wow.

And here it is..... 10 weeks post op... my lovely new foot!!!! 

WEEK 7

Well, its been a while. To be honest, apart from getting the cast off, I havent had much to say.
Recovering from major foot surgery requires, well, a lot of sitting - reading, watching TV/Netflix/films, listening to Podcasts/music/silence, a bit of company from friends who bother to call - thankfully there have been a few, and dealing with different pain issues.

Last week, at the 6 week mark, I got the hard cast removed. Very happily, the surgeon was pleased with how the healing was going - seen on an x-ray. I was then put into an Aircast Camboot - as can be seen in one of the update pictures to follow!

I absolutely didnt like it the first couple of days, but have gotten used to it now. It means I can start to PWB (partial weigh bearing), but told to stay between 10-40% max. The reason for this is that the tendon repair can take up to 3 months to actually repair/attach, and also, the bone in the heel needs to adjust to the pins. (the physio in the hospital told me this this morning, which shed some light on it all)....

I can also sleep without the boot on now. I do keep it elevated, and have a sock on, as it is so nervy, and is still sore, but its nice to have it out of the boot as well. Also gives me the chance to soak it in oil to try and remove the dry skin - ewwww.

My other foot - left foot - is absolute agony, still taking all the brunt, but thankfully it has been put forward for surgery as well, which I cannot wait for!! Because of this, and the pain in my frankenfoot, I am still taking painkillers, which again, I look forward to the day that I wont have to take them at all.

It really is a long slow, and sometimes painful journey. I do absolutely stand by the fact though that I dont regret it for one moment. And, I look forward to the day that I get the other one done. I have attached some pictures to show how good it is looking. It does get quite swollen which doesnt help with the pain, but I am pleased at how well the scars are healing.

Goodbye Orange Cast!! 

 

 VERY dry skin - the night the cast came off. 

The ROBOBOOT!!!

2 days difference..... right pic after 1 day, left pic after 4 days. 

not weight bearing, but looking more like a normal foot!!! 

The Boot!! 

The comparison!

DAY 19

Today is Monday. This Wednesday it will be three weeks post op.

To follow on from last weeks blog, I was getting ready to see my foot for the first time, and get a hard cast put on.
Looking back, from where I am today, I suppose I personally would say the first 2 weeks were actually the easiest. Having the cast change as a marker at 2 weeks was something to aim for. Getting used to being NWB (non weight bearing), recovering from surgery, still having the smiley pain meds, etc, it was all a bit of a bubble.
Then, last Wednesday, I travelled to get my hard cast on. It is a 2 hour journey, and I sat in the back, with foot propped on pillows, etc. Unfortunately I hadnt thought ahead, and suffered terrible car sickness all the way up. My poor Mum driving in the front, and having to listen to my groans!
We arrived, and I went to the allotted day ward where a nurse removed the dressings and VOILA, there was my beautifully coloured, black and blue frankenfoot!!!! Now, I have to say, I am not squeemish in the slightest so I was looking forward to this so much. I actually was so happy to see it, with all the scars it held. I was proud to see this fine foot, not too much swelling, and with a new look to it!!!
The surgeon came around, and had a look, saying - "ah yes, you had the works!". He too was very happy with it all. I then asked him, um, can you now put me on the surgical list for my other foot - to which he had a look, and said, yes, especially with the waiting times for the surgery!!!

I then had a cuppa and a slice of bread to settle my stomach. The hospital kindly gave me an anti nausea tablet, and I was feeling so much better.

Then, i was wheeled down to the theatre, where they do casts, and had my new, bright orange cast applied. Not my color of choice, but she didnt have any purple left! She had to put the foot at a different angle - more like a "standing" angle, which hurt, but the nurse explained why - and I accepted that it might be sore for a day or two.

I then went back up to the ward where my Mum was waiting, got changed, and we left. Thankfully the car sickness had abated for the journey home, enough so that we actually stopped and had a bite to eat - my first outing in public with my knee scooter!!!! Very proud I was!!!

I have to say, I really was utterly exhausted by the time we got home. I fell into bed, and got the foot elevated quickly as possible.

Then, that night, I got the most awful, tears to the eyes pain. I took an oxy, which helped, and by the next morning it had abated.

Unfortunately, I also woke up with a dreaded stomach bug - nausea/vommiting/ and migraine from hell. This all of course meant I couldnt keep any pain meds down, so the day went by with trying to take something, take anti nauseas, take paracetamol, back up again an hour later, and so on and so on. I will say no more about it because it really was an horrific day.

The next day, I felt a modicum better, if not very fragile in all ways. I decided it was the day to start cutting out the coedine and see how I managed. Im proud to say, I did, only taking one that night before bed.

I woke up again on Sat morning feeling "ewww" again. Im not sure whether its opiate hangover, or a combination of that and the remenants of the bug, but yes, nauseus again, so took another anti nausea tablet and within half an hour I did feel better.

In fact, this was the day I decided to start pushing myself physically a bit more. I got up, had a small breakfast, went for a spin around on my knee scooter, chatted in kitchen with my Mum, then rested a bit. I then got up for dinner, and sat with foot elevated, and watched TV. I did feel better for all this.

Sunday, again, I got up and made my own breakfast (still a bit nauseas- another anti sickness tab) - fried egg on toast, and coffee, which were divine. I then went for a spin down the driveway, out into the fresh air. It was lovely, and did me the world of good mentally!! I was EXHAUSTED again though!!!
I did stay up and about more than the day before, and interacted and socialized, and it was really lovely to sit with the family for dinner.

Pain wise, its managable. Sometimes it does get me where I have a little ouchy, but it really is bearable, and this is such a relief to me. What I am starting to find a bit tough is the post op blues. Thankfully, I have been well prepped about them, and have my little cry, but then move on. I do feel quite vulnerable at the moment, and that doesnt help - not because Im on my own, but because I feel so out of control to such a large extent. On the other hand, knowledge is power, and having done so much research, I was prepared for a lot of what is happening and how Im feeling. I get that in the first 2 weeks, youre still on a bit of a high, drugs wise, and relief at getting over the surgery! Now there is a 4 week chasm spanning till the next appointment, so it feels a bit like an anticlimax in a way. But Im a positive thinker, and I know I will get through all this. Life also presents obstacles, problems, etc outside of the surgery, AND me!!! (No, I do realise, its not all about me!!!!!).

I am trying now to fill my day, and have a bit of plan to it - Physio exercises, mindfulness, reading, Netflix, etc......now Im getting up and about and socialising more with my Mum and Stepfather, and my daughter.

This week hopefully sees me return home to my own house. I feel quite strange about it, but miss  home and  miss my partner as well - (in an odd way!) and of course my animals!

I have added some pictures of my foot, so be warned if you find you are squeemish!!!

outside tendon repair

PTT graft

cotton osteotomy

calcaneal osteotomy

after surgery dressing

hard cast

site of pins

FRANKENFOOT!!! 

2 Weeks

Tomorrow is my 2 week marker. It has gone so quickly, even with every day being the same old, same old!!!
I go back to the hospital tomorrow for my hard cast. Ive said it before but Im excited to see my frankenstein foot. I know it will be black and blue, etc, but it will be good to have a visual on it!
Just a question - will they be x-raying it tomorrow? Just wondered!!

So, I had a shower on Sunday all by myself and had no difficulty at all. Im doing my physio exercises in the bed every day, and some core work. I do mindfulness and meditation every day as well, and other than that, I eat, watch Netflix, Shows, indulge in my facebook addiction, listen to podcasts and read.

Im down to 30mg of coedine and 2 paracetamol x 4 times a day now. Am managing well on the reduced dose of coedine. I have a feeling I may need it and the oxy tomorrow so will bring them with me. 

Nothing more to report for now. I feel its all going in the right direction. I am so lucky to be able to stay at my Mums, and god love her, she hasnt been feeling very well, but soldiering on - although, to be fair, all I really need doing is be fed, and my commode emptied when needed. (Im not a needy patient!!) But still, I feel it for her.

I am getting around on my knee scooter. Still havent used the crutched, nor have had to. I havent used the zimmer in about a week either. The knee scooter is such a blessing. Well worth every penny. 

So I will be back on Thurs with an update on how I get on tomorrow.