Today I thought I would talk about the shit side of all this. The mind and arse numbing boredom, the frustration having to do the slightest little tasks, the pain searing through your foot and you know you arent due any more pain meds for another 2 hours. Oh and stretching your legs - that one - how awful the pain is when you do a full leg stretch but you cant just do one leg.
Having to rely on everyone for nearly everything - its really heart breaking. Biding your time to ask for something because you know that the person is busy, or has just sat down, or has been in work all day, or any scenario. "no thanks" becomes a common phrase - or "if you wouldnt mind" or "I hate to ask you but"....
Waking up in the morning, knowing you should feel grateful for another day dawning, but all you can see is an expanse of another day ahead of you. Breakfast/Lunch/Dinner. Everything revolves around food. And Im fat, so Im well aware that Im probably going to end up fatter - thats for dealing with at a later date because I just havent the mental energy to deal with it now.
Watching copious amounts of Netflix/live streaming, Youtube videos, doing meditations, reading, Facebook, and more Facebook.
And sitting around on your numb arse, trying to find a different position, but there just isnt one that means your foot is elevated.
But you know what, at the end of the day, this will all be worth it. I have to believe that. I have to believe that next summer, I will be strolling around on the beach for pleasure with my dogs. I will be able to walk up the mountains, and take pleasure in it. I will, I will, I will.
And hey, arent I so very lucky that I can have all this surgery done - that there is hope for me at the end!!!
Over and out.
I just came back from my 2nd opinion because what the 1st doc described sounded horrific. 2nd opinion sounded just as bad.As you wrote previously you do a great deal of research prior to surgery. I keep hoping for somebody to say that they cured themselves by doing something! Are you happy that you did this surgery the first time? Do you believe that it is all worth it? I am a teacher and am starting to think that I may need more than a few weeks off from work.
ReplyDeleteI too dream of walking with my dog in mountains and on the beach. I want to swim and flipper my foot without pain. I want to walk in and out of shops for hours.
Please keep posting.
Hi Leslie, Sorry so delayed in replying!! YOu would think I would have replied before now!!! I have only just seen this. IN answer to your first question, without a doubt I am happy I had the first foot done. I cant say its 100% better because it isnt. It is, I would say, about 87% better, BUT, I have a theory about this as well - because the other foot got so bad so quickly (probably due to having to cope while right foot was healing), I have not been able to strengthen it up - as in walking to build up the muscles in the foot, etc. Ive spoken to a couple of physios about this as well, and they agree, so that is my hope. You will definitely need to take more than a few weeks off work. I reckon I could have gone back to work the first time after about 8-10 weeks - if I hadnt had problems with my employers - but that was an office job. Reading back over this blog about the time scales the last time, the swelling was definitely still happening months after. Having read and researched, what you read is absolutely true - it does take up to a year to have healed properly - and there is no doubt in my mind now about that fact.
DeleteI hope some of this has helped. Please keep asking if you have any other questions. :-)
Thanks for taking this on, I had a triple arthrodesis 2 years ago (R) and will have my left foot done this fall.
ReplyDeleteYou nailed the sitting your arse situation!
Hi Ronda - Ooh, thats a tough one - thats fusion isnt it?? The foot is so very complex, and to be honest I am in awe of the amazing things that can be done!!! Yes, my arse gets very numb!!!! Best of luck with foot number 2. How is your right foot now?? 2 years on??
DeleteHi I am scheduled to have it on December 21st . But I work from home do you think I will be coherent enough to work via laptop after 3 weeks?
ReplyDeletehi Kristina. I suppose it depends on you but yes, you would definitely be coherent to work via laptop. I work from home as well and last surgery I was doing figures!!! Hope this helps and best of luck. xx
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