Its 4 weeks today since I had the surgery. I have to say, it feels like an eternity, in good and bad ways. In an odd way it has gone by quickly, but in another dimension its has been forever!!!! It is also my Birthday! Yikes!!!
So, following on from Mondays post - I decided to totally stop the codeine. My plan is, pain meds as needed, but for now, only paracetamol or brufen. I have to say, yesterday was yuck. Now, here is the thing - am I feeling/having symptoms because I know about them, or am I really having them? I mean, Im not going through full blown withdrawal from heavy dependency, but I am definitely feeling the withdrawal. My legs are the main thing, the heavy "ache" in them, and then the evening restlessness. I also had really bad diarrhea - not sure if that was the withdrawal, it certainly is a symptom with heavy opiate withdrawal but as I said, 30mg of codeine a day over the whole day is not considered to be a heavy dependency (that is what I had gotten down to).
I also wondered if the fact that I was on Tramadol previously has factored into the withdrawal symptoms?
Last night wasn't great. I took 1 Panadol night - they have a "sleepy" antihistamine in them, and I do find that they help me sleep. I also took ½ a zanax for the restless legs. I dosed off after about an hour, but then would you believe I woke, and could not for the life of me settle again. I read, I tried to listen to meditations, I read again, I just lay and did breathing techniques, I tossed turned, went to the loo, and eventually I took another panadol night and another ½ zanax. I also have an app on my phone that has nature sounds, but also "binaural" sounds, so I set the dreamless sleep binaural sound, and would you believe - oscillating fan and I actually cant remember how long it took but I did end up getting to sleep thankfully. I slept all the way through to 7am this morning.
Painwise Im actually doing fine. Its weird, I keep thinking, "ooh, I must take my meds", but I actually dont need to. Thats great isnt it?!? Im not pain-free, but its more than manageable. To be totally honest, the worst thing Im suffering from at the moment is achy legs, and not to be able to go for a walk, or swim or have an epsom salts bath is the worst!!! But Im hoping that that will pass with time. Its funny, there is always a little voice in the back of my head saying, maybe if I took just one 15mg tab, it would just ease it a little - but the logical me knows that that is the voice that drives it from being pain relief to addiction. I know my mood has definitely dropped as well - again, codeine is a great mood upper - known to be, well, any of the opiate group are, so when you remove it, the mood drops.
Im really documenting this to show that it is a reality of post surgery, and one of the downsides. I googled codeine withdrawal yesterday, and found a thread with so many people talking about how they developed a dependency, and a lot of them were like me - post surgery, or with bad back pain, and it just spiraled. It is so easy to "trick" a doctor into keep on giving the pain meds, and I really feel that this is something that needs to be addressed. My GP's never questioned the repeat prescriptions for Tramadol for a year and a half and I know we should all take responsibility for our own health, but there should be a point where it is red flagged.
All along the way, since the surgery, since I had to deal with the pain nurse in the hospital, I have had this fear, or awareness of opiate dependency - especially after the Tramadol..... and I feel lucky that I had this fear to stop me spiralling. I am a bit too much of a controller to let it overcome me. I should thank myself for this - as it is probably that which has stopped me from becoming addicted to alcohol, drugs or letting my love of food turn me into a super obese person (Im overweight but never get past a certain point!). I have addiction on my fathers side, and Im very aware that it is something that can go through generations.
Otherwise, I have nothing to report. Tick/Tock, Tick/Tock........
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